35 Amusing Tweets From Twitter Users Who Don't Want to Call it X (October 13, 2023)

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    Font - Ace Watkins @GamerPres20XX Did you know most Americans only get to spend 2-3 hours with a new video game after launch before returning to work? Paid. Gamer. Leave. Three simple words I will make law when gamers around the country rise up and take back control of this country (which we founded, btw). 11:27 AM 9/29/23 from Earth 512K Views . 2,323 Reposts 69 Quotes
  • 02
    Product - the thicc husband & father @lukeisamazing when your created character shows up in a cutscene O Carbie @nuclearcarly. 1d I was unprepared for the camera to pan to this person ALT STTIE . 9:51 AM 10/8/23 from Earth. 803K Views 50 GEREK 1,078 Reposts 9 Quotes ...
  • 03
    Font - Ashley Nicole Black @ashleyn1cole There needs to be a grocery store for single people where they sell flour by the tablespoon 3:14 PM 10/8/23 from Earth 892K Views . . 1,078 Reposts 237 Quotes
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    Jaw - zach silberberg supports SAG-AFTRA @zachsilberberg aw that's very sweet of you but just a normal death cab for me, thanks. 7:22 PM 9/29/23 516K Views 1,297 Reposts 9 Quotes
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    Gesture - Car DealershipGuy @GuyDealership Customer submitted this as "proof of income" when buying a car (friends picture) 469892 G www.W HAPA 11:32 AM - 9/30/23 from Earth 819K Views 456 Reposts 119 Quotes . 24698926 KALE FEDERAL ALL ME 02469892.0 OFFS RESERVE UPANKSNE 20 PIRATES
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    Gesture - @qs_bae Haven't you ppl ever heard of, passing the gahdamn ball B @bmillerrr. 1d Panic! At The Free Throw O Baptist Health C Baptist Ith Carn HEAT 7,825 Reposts 193 Quotes 2:18 PM 10/2/23 from Earth. 2.1M Views ...
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    Slope - what level of alcoholism are you at where you're complaining about walking two blocks to a liquor store Jordan A. Winkler @jordanawinkler.3d What's the liquor equivalent of a food desert bailey moon @baileymoon96 NKLIN PKWY ST HAMILTON ST Tw THE FRANKLIN INSTITUTE Fine Wine & Good Spirits S 20TH ST Fine Wine & Good Spirits CUTHBERT ST JOHN F KENNEDY BLVD. PINE ST CHERRY ST VINE ST LOMBARD ST ARCH ST ONE LIBERTY PLACE RITTENHOUSE HIST WALNUT ST S-16TH ST O SANSOM ST NIBROADIST 611 Fine Wi
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    Photograph - Jennifer Lee Rossman #SaveStarTrek... @JenLRossman That man is three different lesbians simultaneously Nerd Girl Says @Rachael_Conrad. 1d I don't know who needs to see it but
  • 09
    Font - gibby @ClaireSassman Every "it's so over" is a gift because it means there's a "we're so back” right around the corner 9:21 PM 10/9/23 2M Views 5,578 Reposts 479 Quotes
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    Food - ゴゴ Rich ゴゴ @RequiemRich The Illegal U-Turn shaboing boing is crazyyyyy Fatboy Monk @TheHumble Monk. 22h I brought the artillery twitter.com/rashadstark/ st... 1000 KLIM
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    Font - Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau Hung out with some new people and after they left my girlfriend said, "...What if we had some kind of hand signal for when you should stop talking?" 10:27 PM 9/1/23 from Earth. 1.4M Views 1,521 Reposts 279 Quotes
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    Font - R @ihyric tattoo placement is so important some of y'all look like chipotle bags 9:58 AM 10/5/23 from Earth - 3.7M Views . . 5,991 Reposts 947 Quotes
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    Font - the hype @TheHyyyype a lady posted on nextdoor "does anyone recognize this man? i've seen him at least 4 times at the train station near my house." it turned out to be a guy who was commuting to work every day 11:17 AM 9/28/23 440K Views 570 Reposts 64 Quotes
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    Font - soul nate @MNateShyamalan editor: how's the world building going jk rowling: i've already come up with all the slurs editor: oh. ok. well are they going to have cauldrons or- jk rowling: the goblins are jews 10:16 PM - 10/5/23.1M Views . 2,037 Reposts 46 Quotes
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    Sleeve - Jeremiah Johnson @JeremiahDJohns w ww UZ obsessed with the theory that Ron DeSantis's shoes look so weird because they're hiding 4 inch heels inside 10:35 AM 10/6/23 1M Views 1,220 Reposts 228 Quotes 2
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    Nose - Lance A @Bornakang imagine your judge posts this on tik tok after sentencing you & Tik Tok @danhentschel Finally getting lunch and realizing I gave a guy life in prison without parole 0:14 because I was hangry 7:35 PM 10/4/23.8.7M Views LE ...
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    Sleeve - Zito @_Zeets This is such a hilarious quote. Imagine giving birth and the doctor and nurses start booing your baby. SportsCenter E@SportsCenter. 10h Deion's been used to this LETT When I came out the womb I was booed. DEION SANDERS on dealing with the haters
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    Font - Keg. @GratefulKeg Wanna meet the guy who came up with tall boys. Gotta imagine it was like damn i wish this beer was two beers. What a genius. Should be up there with Galileo. 8:59 PM 10/8/23 1.2M Views 1,583 Reposts 26 Quotes
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    Font - Shane @shane_oaddo Has anyone tried inventing a government that isn't evil, have we considered this 8:35 AM - 10/9/23 49.6K Views 162 Reposts 3 Quotes 2,126 Likes 7 Bookmarks
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    Font - Matriarchy Hannah @HannahPosted Unfortunately this is very funny Patriarchy Hannah @harmonizedgrace Another reason my girls won't be playing competitive sports: Lesbians. Women's sports is full of lesbians & you can't deny this. It's a breeding ground for aggressive lesbians. 6:31 PM 06 Oct 23 58.5K Views Follow 10:42 PM 10/8/23 from Earth 1.8M Views 2,274 Reposts 613 Quotes .
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    Tire - 2 ... @rorschachisgay he looks like a woman at a farmers market who knows an insane amount about the healing properties of honey and is going through an extremely acrimonious divorce v @ViralThingz. 1d 10:45 AM 10/8/23 from Earth. 1.1M Views . 1,979 Reposts 69 Quotes
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    Font - Hurt CoPain @Saeed DiCaprio it's over for me 11:24 AM I Eat Short People @IEatTinyPeople Joined June 2023 257 Followers How tall are you? Today . Accept Block or report Delete 2:47 PM 10/9/23 421K Views 377 Reposts 30 Quotes
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    Font - Xiao Tong CTC @Velinxi It's so embarrassing how many times I've finished watching a movie at home and think "oh man that was pretty good" then googling it to find out more just to see it's actually universally agreed to be the worst movie ever and has a 20% on rotten tomatoes 8:29 PM 10/2/23 5M Views 9,682 Reposts 2,028 Quotes
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    Font - Justin-O-Verlantern @notdylm guy on jeopardy got described in the intro as a stay at home uncle 7:25 PM 10/3/23 734K Views ● 000 433 Reposts 237 Quotes
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    Font - first-mate prance @bocxtop making a billion dollar website worse everytime u get mad at ur baby momma is crazyy 10:47 AM - 10/6/23 from Earth 2.8M Views 4,766 Reposts 110 Quotes
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    Font - dove! @lovedoveclarke my bf was taking my pics and his friend was like "portrait mode! use portrait mode!" and i was like "ew no!".......... tell me why he's the person who created it........... 10:19 AM 10/9/23 from Earth 2.8M Views 992 Reposts 170 Quotes
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    Font - david @_elvishpresley_ why is it that there are thousands of songs written about falling in love, but only one song about moving to the country to eat a lot of peaches? 9:22 PM 10/6/23 from Earth 68.4K Views . 148 Reposts 12 Quotes
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    Font - meg "Yooper" bitchell @MeganBitchell Girl who's addicted to dinner: sooooo do you guys wanna get dinner tonight 12:12 PM - 10/8/23 from Earth. 413K Views . 684 Reposts 44 Quotes
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    Automotive lighting - barbiana @ashdaminajj910 is this what the lady seen on the plane ???? nute aid ISNJURIES Nutrition Min Ma 12:22 PM 10/8/23 from Earth 5.5M Views . 9,092 Reposts 2,245 Quotes
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    Font - rishi @rishipuff i'm not addicted to my phone i'm addicted to my friends. who oftentimes are inside of my phone 5:07 PM 10/9/23 666K Views 3,671 Reposts 200 Quotes
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    Font - Missy Martinez @MissyXMartinez Imagine going on a date with someone holding a fish in their dating profile picture and when you get to the restaurant it's just a salmon sitting there waiting 10:08 AM 8/11/23 396K Views 1,209 Reposts 47 Quotes
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    Food - chris udalla @Cudalla The McRib only comes back before a tragic world event. Take precautions. Heed my warning. POP Pop Crave @PopCrave-6d The McRib returns to McDonald's this November. Select locations only. M. . 4:46 PM 10/4/23 from Earth. 32.7M Views o 22.6K Reposts 1,518 Quotes
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    Shirt - Lance A @Bornakang That's really living vt. Retired Couple Book 51 Back-To-Back Cruises Because It Was Cheaper Than A Retirement Home 10:38 PM 10/9/23 from Earth 2.8M Views 4,417 Reposts 235 Quotes Check the comments below for the full story .
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    Jeans - trash jones @jzux me lying to my doctor saying i drink 2-3 alcoholic beverages a week 7:49 PM 10/8/23 4.2M Views .
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    Font - rob @OkButStill (two women who hate each other at work) 1: any chance we can get some context for this upcoming meeting? thanks! 2: here's a screenshot of the meeting invite where i had already added an agenda. thanks!!!! 2:50 PM 10/9/23 1.2M Views . 1,933 Reposts 200 Quotes

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